These 5 Sincere Songs are Like a Series of ‘Five Stages of Grief’

Tulus, a singer and songwriter from Minangkabau, Kadung is known for his addictive lyrics and music. The four albums are Sincere (2011), elephant (2014), Monochrome (2016), until Man (2022) succeeded in gaining public attention.

So viral, some have uploaded a meme that it turns out that Tulus’ songs can represent the “Five Stages of Grief” aka The Five Stages of Grief or The Kübler-Ross . Model introduced by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969 through her book, On Death and Dying. These stages are abbreviated as DABDA (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance).

So, what are the songs from Tulus that resemble the series “Five Stages of Grief” precisely in the context of losing a lover? The following is the review based on a tweet from the Twitter account @aimrod on March 6, 2022.

1. Denial – “A Short Story”

Denial aka denial is the initial phase when we are grieving. A person feels and considers the loss to have no significant effect on his life. This is a temporary form of self-defense to minimize emotional injury. At first he was sure that he was fine, then slowly doubts arose, until he realized that something he was missing had turned out to be not okay.

Short Story from Tulus seems to describe this phase. A romance that was recently established and ran aground. There is a sense of disbelief why it happened, feeling fine because the memories and feelings are not strong yet. Apparently, the sense of loss is still there.

With you I feel happy
Wake up from a dream I know I’m not alone
The sun seems brighter too
With your sweet kiss I start walking

I enjoy every second with your name in my heart
I feel happy and my heart is blossoming
You make me crazy, bow my heart I’m loyal
Like magic you make me fall

But it doesn’t last long
You leave me
You left a trail of questions

Come on remember your words
You won’t leave me
Come on remember your words
Forever you are only for me

2. Anger (Angry) – “Grey Sky”

Anger or anger represents a phase in which a person feels that the situation that befell him is unfair, does not accept it, then anger arises. Because of frustration and sensitivity, the anger is even vented on oneself, others, objects around, even God. At this stage, a person feels the need for a place to be blamed for his grief.

Through Gray Sky, Tulus described the feeling of anger. Someone who does not accept why he was left even though he has given sacrifice and sincerity. He wanted accountability for his injuries but to no avail.

It’s impossible for you to forget that quickly
Your sad tears at that time
Reveal all the flaws
All of me that he doesn’t have

The allure that you really have
Really, really, want me to protect
And after your wounds subside
You forgot, I also have feelings

Then you left, came back with him
I’ve touched you, are you ashamed?

Under the wet gray sky, where are you?
In the quiet of the night leading up to Sunday, where are you?

3. Bargaining (Bargaining) – “Swap Souls”

This third stage is an emotional defense effort to try to take control back over him. After the anger begins to subside, a sense of guilt arises for oneself or someone outside of him. He tries to see from the other person’s point of view (the party he previously felt guilty about) and imagines if that person were him.

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Lyrics in the song Soul Exchange seems to symbolize this situation. Because of his hurt feelings, a person wishes that the person who hurt him could stand in the position of the person he injured so that he would know how deep the wound was.

I’m running out of ways to describe you
You are in my eyes and in my sight
If one day change souls
You will understand and stop

Just try one day you be me
(You will understand)
You will understand how I see you

Just try one day you be me
(You will understand)
You will understand how I see you
Adore you
Love you

Also Read: 10 Sincere Songs on Human Albums, Relate to the Life Stories of Many People

4. Depression – “Shoes”

At stage depression or depression, a person has realized that he is not feeling well after the loss, then becomes angry, and hopes that the wound is also felt by the person for whom he is guilty. In this phase, he will feel sad, hopeless, and disappointed when he remembers the bad event. Inner wounds will be intensely felt in the phase depression so this stage is the toughest.

Although wrapped in music that is not sad, but the lyrics of the song Shoe tells the story of two lovebirds who can’t be together. They are always together and want to be together, but reality is not taking sides. They have gone through ups and downs but the separation remains undeniable.

We are a pair of shoes
Always together can’t be together
We die like soulless
Move because of human feet

I’m your right shoe
You are the left shoe
I’m happy when invited to run fast
But I’m afraid you’re tired
I don’t mind if it rains
But I’m afraid you’re cold

We know we want to be together
But can’t do anything
We know we want to be together
But can’t do anything
Feels complete when we are both

Feels sad when we are on different shelves
Near you a box like nirvana
But even touching each other we are helpless
Love has many forms
Maybe not all can be together

5. Acceptance – “Be careful on the road”

Acceptance or acceptance is the final phase of the grieving stage. Someone has already admitted that he or she has had a bad and irreversible event. Feelings of sadness may still be there but he has started to learn to accept reality and adjust to his new life.

Be careful on the way presents this phase through the lyrics and music. In the end, the pain of breaking up on a failed romance must still be accepted. Instead of growing hatred, it would be nice to cultivate sincerity. One must turn over a new leaf in life with a more positive feeling.

Travel brings you to meet me
I met you, like you I’m looking for
It is said that I am also what you are looking for

I thought we were sour and salt
and we meet in the pot
The story that turned out to be not that beautiful

I thought we would be together, so much in common
Your background and mine
I don’t think there will be any problems, I think it’s easy
You I become us

Your love is frozen
It’s muffled now, special incandescent
I don’t know what the world means
About the end of the story, we are not together

I hope this miss disappears
It is said that time heals
Will there be more like you?

You continue your journey
I continue my journey
Be careful on the way

According to Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, not everyone experiences exactly the five stages and the sequence is not always followed. However, at least the mourning phase has two stages. There are also times when a person actually goes through repeated stages until the feeling of grief that is experienced is completely over.

So, do you agree with Tulus’ songs that describe the “Five Stages of Grief” as above? Come on, share your opinion in the comments column!

Also Read: 10 Sincere Achievements in the Music Industry, Break Spotify Indonesia’s Record!

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